Relations Between the Sexes

Having clarified women's independent spiritual and intellectual status in Islam, I turn next to their status with regard to men, and their relationship with men. We are here looking at a relationship of interdependence. The Qur'an says:

"Among His signs is (the fact) that He has created spouses for you from among yourselves so that you may console yourselves with them. He has planted love and mercy between you; in that are signs for people who reflect" (30:21)

This is a very important definition of the relationship between man and wife. They are expected to find tranquility in each other's company and by "love and mercy". Such a description comprises mutual care, consideration, respect and affection.

There are numerous ahadith, particularly those narrated by 'A'isha, which give a clear insight into the way the Prophet treated his wives and the way they treated him. The most striking thing about these is their evidence of the mutual care and respect of the marriage relationship. There is no servility on the part of the wives, and there are probably as many references to the Prophet doing things to please his wives as there are of the wives doing things to please the Prophet.

The Qur'an refers to wives generally in another chapter saying:

"They are garments for you while you are garments for them" (2:187).

In other words, as a garment gives warmth, protection and decency, so a husband and wife offer each other intimacy, comfort and protection from committing adultery and other offences.

It follows from what has been quoted from the Qur'an that one of the important aims of Islamic regulations governing behavior and human relations is the preservation of the family unit in such a way that the atmosphere of tranquility, love and mercy and consciousness of Allah can develop and flower to the benefit of husband and wife, and also of the children of the marriage.

Therefore in examining the conduct expected of men and women towards each other, both inside and outside marriage,we have to bear in mind these aims and weigh their benefits to the individual and to society. We must also bear in mind that Islam has a coherent view of life, and that the various aspects of it should not be considered in isolation from each other. It comprises a total way of life, and each part of it needs to be seen in the total context.

To understand the role of a woman in a Muslim society therefore we have to examine both her duties and her rights, the behavior expected of her towards men and the behavior due to her from men.