Question:

I am a Hanafī and my wife is a Salafī and we have lots of differences in our faiths [sic]. Even we pray differently.

She rather sticks only to the Ĥadīth found in Şaĥīĥ Bukhārī, whereas I follow the concept of taqlīd and adhere to the Ĥanafī school. This situation is getting very difficult for me as I never tell her that she is wrong. I tell her that she shouldn’t say that I or all the people who follow taqlīd are wrong. But she doesn’t listen to what I say.

She also wants to make our children believe the same as hers and I don’t want it.

We fear you and your wife have some problem in communication, and have made an issue of a non-issue: both Aĥnāf and Ahle-Ĥadīth are right as both refer to the Qur’ān and Sunnah. The two schools, and others, differ in secondary details, or in the interpretation of certain injunctions. That difference existed even among the Companions of the Prophet and no one accused the other to be wrong.

Let us here also inform your wife about one or two things. We believe she knows what was the difference between taqlīd and Ittiba‘ [following]. Taqlīd in fact, is defined as following [the sayings or deeds of] a person without looking at the arguments, or questioning about the source. Your wife is also a muqallid because of her following only Imam Bukhārī , whether she admits or not. But we are not saying that it was not allowed for her. You both, being commoners [and not scholars], are absolutely right to follow one or the other Imām.

The second thing we wish her to know is that none of the fiqhī schools ever went out of Sunnah intentionally. Those who say and believe so, are simply misinformed. See, for instance, Imām Abū Ĥanīfah has said:

It is not proper for anyone to accept our statement [decree], unless he/she knows where from we got it.

Thus, those who follow Imam Abu Hanifah, or Imam Shāfi‘, or Imam Mālik or Imam Ahmad bin Ĥanbal, do so believing that whatever they accept has been duly checked by the great jurists and scholars in original sources [the Qur’ān and Sunnah]. Why the scholars were bound to check? Because whereas taqlīd is allowed for the common person, it is not allowed for the scholars who have the means and ability to check and cross-check any saying or decree and form independent opinion [that is, exercise ijtihād].

You, yourself, need to get equipped with proper knowledge and present your argument, when needed, with love and affection and by being a good role model. Mind not if your advice and observations are not accepted. After all, everyone will remain Muslim, so why worry? We wish friendly dialogue between you and your wife. If you follow what we suggest, then your difference of opinion will be raĥmah (blessing), as informed by the Prophet (peace be upon him), and don’t let this healthy dialogue turn into hardship – zaĥmah (trouble).

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