I am not a muslim. I am simply trying to understand Islam. I apologize in advance if I insult your religion or race in any manner, shape or form.
Question of Polygamy and Islam:
According to several Muslim scholars the reason for men to have multiple wife's are

1) If his first wife is barren or

2) Man needs sex when women are havin periods. So when first wife is having periods he can go to another wife for sex. Or

3) In case of war when there is severe imbalance in man/woman ratio.

If these are the valid reasons for men to have multiple wifes then "can a woman have multiple husbands"? if

1) Her husband is barren

2) When her husband is faraway (due to job reasons like navy soldier or travelliing sales man).

3) Where population of men exceeds women.

You also have a right to know what I think. I believe monogamy is a western idea. It works well at present time. I don't think polygamy it self is a bad idea. But it is more misused under the guise of religion. Here we have two choices:

1) Make polygamy legal. Then you should also make it legal for a woman to have multiple husbands. You should also contol it so that it is not misused.

2) Adopt monogamy.

Thanks

Vijay Saradhi,
September 01, 1999

ANSWER:

Dear Mr. Vijay, Thanks for contacting JI.

Let me first assure you that the question you posed (and any such other questions) never emanated to insult of our religion or race. Please feel always free to ask such questions whenever they irritate you. It is but natural that such questions come to mind, and for those concerning Islam, we, the Muslims should generally by ready to answer, as reasonably and correctly as possible.

I also agree that certain religions' permissions are "misused." But that is not unique to Islam. It is everywhere and should be strongly condemned. I am certainly not defending such mis-users and would rather explain the true Islamic position.

From your message, I get that your question is only one: Why polygamy in Islam, and if so, why for men alone?

I shall try to answer this question in points, so that nothing remains ambiguous, as for as possible:

1) Polygamy was unlimited in the human societies, when the Qur'an was revealed. Thus a "restriction" was imposed that a man can not take more then four wives. It is also expressly advised, that better to stay content with one wife. It is thus clear that polygamy is not LIKED or FAVOURED, it is only permitted and legalized.

2) In the Islamic system, MAN is the care-taker and spender, whereas women have no financial liability, with the family. The occasion when polygamy was permitted coincided with a situation that there were widows with orphans children and babies. The men were thus advised that if they can not/or do not wish to take full time responsibility for such widows and their children, they should better marry them so that they become their "legal" responsibility.

3) The arguments that a man goes for second, third or fourth marriage, because the first, second or third wife is barren or that men need more sex, or that sometimes there arises imbalance of men/women ratio in the population, etc. are important justifications but only man-made arguments. No such reason has been given in the Muslim's holy Book - the Qur'an – or ever preached or ordered by Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Rather, very strict and harsh conditions have been imposed upon man having more than one wife that he has to keep absolute balance in dealings, treatment and affairs. Those who are aware of these restrictions can feel that polygamy has been made a matter almost next to impossible - though certainly permitted, legally, so that if a true necessity arises (to be decided by the person himself, of course), the door he found open to go for second marriage rather than divorcing the first wife. If however, the first wife does not like the idea, she has the right to seek divorce (technically called KHULA or separation through the court of law).

4) The last point you raised is that if men are allowed more wives, then in similar circumstances why not women are also permitted to take more husbands. Apparently, (though opposing the generally observed biological phenomenon), this appears a justified demand, yet is poorly conceived for certain important reasons.

Let me spell out a few:

a) The primary purpose of the marriage is to build a family, which is the foundation of any civil society. Sex and pleasure is only a temporary reward of this service (working together to raise a family). Now if a woman has two husbands, do you really think they will make a harmonious (rather any) family? Never. None of the two men will consider it his responsibility to look after the family, the wife and the children.

b) And who will satisfy a "husband" that the child or children belong to him and not to the "second" husband? Who, except the true father takes so great pains to take care of the children? This also jeopardizes the ancestral purity and heredity of the child, who will never know who was his/her father.

c) No such problem arises in case a man has more than one wife.

Wish you consider these submissions and give us your considered comment.

Regards.

(Contributed by M. HAQ)